Warped Tour

The oppressive heat overwhelmed audience and performers alike at the Warped Tour date in Kansas City on June 23, 2005. The only consistent shade I could find was in the Cutz tent, which featured compelling artists including Eternia (pictured).

Her original material is funny and smart, but it was Eternia's cover of Jeru The Damaja's The Bichez that stood out. With my mind melting, I failed in an audience participation segment by only meekly mumbling- a split-second late- the chorus when Eternia shoved her mic in my face. And it wasn't just me; Eternia had to sit down for one of her numbers.

Note the dude appreciating Eternia in the photo. Unlike him, I didn't go shirtless, and consequently my farmer's tan is smoking.

In the five hours I stuck it out, I saw The All-American Rejects (a younger, blues-free Aerosmith), Armor For Sleep (excellent emo), The Feds (G'n'R-style rock), The Matches (ok, I guess), MXPX (poor, Christian man's Social D), The Offspring (competent), Plain White T's (adequate), The Raging Hormones (high school ska project's last gig), The Starting Line (I don't get it), Stutterfly (generic rock), The Transplants (disappointing supergroup), Underoath (first-rate Christian screamo), and Valient Thorr (belligerent Nugent-style rock wildly out of place).