You've Been Pittsnogled!

Happy In Bag is a stealth blog. I’ve lured dozens of devoted readers into the Happy In Bag web with my tales of fast food, bird sightings and nightclubs. It’s finally time to reveal the truth.

There’s only one thing that matters in this world- college basketball. And on Monday and Tuesday nights, Kansas City’s Municipal Auditorium was host to the Guardians Classic, a major season-opening tournament.

Highly-ranked Iowa, West Virginia, Texas and Kentucky comprised the tournament’s final four. West Virginia is led by national folk-hero Kevin Pittsnogle, a 6-11 three-point-shooting geek. He and his team looked soft in Tuesday’s consolation game as they went down to the venerable but talent-deprived Kentucky.

Even without noted booster Ashley Judd, Kentucky’s fans were incredible. They had more fun than anyone, including the hard-drinking Longhorns contingent. Fortunately, ESPN’s courtside reporter Erin Andrews was on hand to provide ample sex appeal. And with the TV-mandated 80-minute break between games, the crowd was desperate for such diversions. The so-called halftime entertainment provided by KPRS-FM, Hot 103 Jamz, certainly didn’t qualify. Their slam-dunk contest fizzled out once it became clear that only one of their hand-picked contestants could actually dunk the ball. You know things aren’t going well when thousands of people lustily boo high school kids. They should have asked me to participate to save everyone the bitter disappointment.

Even though #2-ranked Texas topped Iowa in the championship game, they looked beatable. Then again, Iowa may be the season’s strongest dark horse candidate. Their pale, balding Greg Brunner gets my vote as the best player in the tournament, topping current Texas star and future NBA-All-Star LaMarcus Aldridge.

I pledge to you, faithful Happy In Bag reader, that I will make every effort to limit my posts about college basketball. Given that about 5,000 seats remained empty Tuesday night, it’s obvious that Kansas City, at least, doesn’t share my passion for the sport. Unless I find a dedicated site that satisfies my unique sensibilities, I may even start a third blog about the sport for just that purpose.