Gasolina

I have a thing for overweight baseball players. I empathize so strongly with the big men that I’ve come close to scuffling with fans who taunt them at ball games. Everyone knows that a little extra weight just makes a guy stronger.

Needless to say, I’m a fan of rotund Royals pitcher Runelvys Hernandez. I admire his portly pride. Still, on a team loaded with disappointments and failures, he’s the Royals’ most notable flop.

So when Hernandez took the mound to start the game on September 17, I was stunned to hear Daddy Yankee’s reggaeton hit "Gasolina" booming through Kaufman Stadium. Everyone knows that pitchers are supposed to put fires out. Was Royals management mocking Hernandez? Give fat Elvys a break!

Alas, Hernandez was knocked out of the game in the fifth inning that day. But I don’t blame him for the Royals’ loss. These losers in the bullpen gave up six additional runs in the Royals' 10-5 loss.