Happy In Bag's Rock Festival Rules

As usual, I had a good time at Rockfest. Still, things would have been even better if some of my fellow concertgoers had applied just a little more common sense. With several big outdoor events still to come this summer- they include Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd, Warped Tour and Summer Jam II- I thought it might be helpful if I posted ten tips from a veteran's perspective.

1. Don't drink alcohol if you're going to be spending hours broiling under direct sunlight. Wait until sunset. Didn't you learn anything in high school?

2. Expect to get kicked in the head by a crowd surfer if you stand near the stage.

3. Bring suntan lotion and hand sanitizer.

4. Carefully check that patch of grass for vomit before sitting down.

5. Don't photograph immodest women. It's creepy.

6. I know you're eager to shove people, but please don't hurt innocent bystanders while rushing toward the mosh pit.

7. That's quite a whistle. Do it in my ear again and you'll be in a dentist's chair tomorrow.

8. Let the guy in the wheelchair through.

9. Unless they're personal acquaintances, don't disturb passed out and vomiting people. They'll be fine.

10. Beware the fat man. He will knock you down.

(This image was captured at the Kansas City Symphony's Celebration At the Station and obviously has no relationship whatsoever to this post.)