The Kansas City River Conspiracy
River currents are deadly. Giant maneating catfish are lurking just below the surface. Rivers are for commercial barges only. The water is dirty.
Lies. It’s all lies. Well, except for the part about the water. It is dirty.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Two majestic rivers wind through the Kansas City metropolis. But when’s the last time you dipped your toes into either the Kansas or Missouri Rivers? Wouldn’t it have been great to spend part of last weekend on this little boat docked in Kansas City, Kansas?
How did this river aversion happen? Did old J.C. Nichols convince people that they should think only about his housing developments instead of next weekend’s fishing expedition? Or maybe the Corps of Engineers hid the rivers from Kansas Citians to enhance their land speculation at the Lake of the Ozarks. Or could there be a psychotropic additive in our water supply that makes us believe that rivers are scary?
Let’s reclaim the rivers. Let’s get wet.