Lost In Translation

I'm suspicious when people and institutions go out of their way to articulate concepts that should be implicitly understood. Here's how I translate three irksome slogans. "The Friendliest Place In Town" means "We're really working on minimizing our employees' use of profanity." "Celebrate Diversity" bumper stickers mean "I'm unaccountably uncomfortable with the color of my skin and with my personal faith." A "Coexist" t-shirt means "It's really important that everyone know I'm not racist."