Happy In Bag

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I'll Be Your Wench Tonight

What’s your most regrettable entertainment purchase?

It might be tickets for a Shania Twain concert, an investment in the ill-fated Laserdisc format, a broken glow-light at the circus, or sea monkeys.

I bought tickets to the ultimate ridiculous extravaganza last week. My excuse is that Medieval Times was only a block away from my motel, and I couldn't face another traffic jam on "The 5." I don’t know if I was more irritated by my fellow dupes who bought into the show- souvenirs and all- or by the show’s silly spectacle.

I was disappointed to discover that all the warm, overpriced beer in Orange County couldn’t salvage this disastrous miscalculation. In fairness to the Medieval Times enterprise, here’s full disclosure- I detest Las Vegas, fake British accents and lines.

It’s inevitable that Medieval Times or a similar operation will open at Village West in Wyandotte County. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


  • At 6:07 PM, Blogger Xavier Onassis said…

    My most regrettable entertainment purchase was probably allocating even a small fraction of my monthly cable bill to watching the one small snippet that I voluntarily viewed of John Travolta's "Battlefield Earth".

    Mind you, I actually read the book. Not a Hubbard fan by any means, but the book read like one long (very, very long) comic book and it was enjoyable enough. In a sort of Saturday afternoon, juvenille, movie-serial kinda way.

    But the movie. Oh my god. I can still taste the stench of that foul abomination.

    Worse than Klinton Spilsbury in "The Legend Of The Lone Ranger".

    Worse than "Ishtar" or "Heaven's Gate".

    That was 15 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

  • At 7:57 AM, Blogger Happy In Bag said…

    XO- It sounds like you're an ideal candidate for a "free personality test."

    Seriously, was it worse than Alien Versus Predator? That's my benchmark.

  • At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    A bunch of camp under-costumed vikings in a musical cabaret selling Viking Dublin to 20th Century Dublin comes to mind. And I wish it didn't. Give me Kirk Douglas anyday.

  • At 10:14 PM, Blogger Xavier Onassis said…

    AvP was Oscar material compared to Battlefield Earth. I kid you not.

    And I took their "free personality test". Verdict...

    I don't have one.

    Apparantly even Xenu's Thetans don't want to be around me.


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