Health-O-Meter

Sell your Burger King Corporation stock. I won't be ordering my usual Double Bacon Homestyle Melt for breakfast. Boulevard Brewery should decrease production. Pale Ale doesn't have a place in my annual health bender between Halloween and Thanksgiving. When I punished a dusty scale this morning, I was relieved to discover that I was still safely under the Mendoza Line. The six pounds I intend to shed over the next three weeks aren't even a third of what I could stand to lose, but I'm not prepared to make a serious commitment. The payoff comes when I wear my fancy pants to see Millie Jackson at the National Guard Armory on Thanksgiving, where I'll get reaquainted with alcohol and grease.