Squirrelly

My first trick-or-treater dissed me Friday night. "Hey mister," sneered a little Spongebob. "Don't you know you're supposed to spray shellac on your pumpkins?" The carved pumpkins on my front step had been decimated by squirrels. The sad truth is that I've given up the war against my mortal enemies. They've won. (The good news, however, is that my chipmunk problem is a thing of the past.)