Happy In Bag

Friday, May 19, 2006

Buttoned Up












Attractive women were checking me out at the grocery store yesterday.

A blonde offered me a captivating smile in the parking lot. A good-looking mom did a double take as she watched me select vegetables.

"Gee," I thought, "I've got it going on today."

A woman in tight sweat pants gave me the once over in frozen foods and a tall gal stared at me as I selected a loaf of bread. By the time the male cashier smirked at me, I figured he was just jealous of my undeniable appeal.

I couldn’t resist a peak in the mirror when I returned home. I saw that I’d missed a button on my shirt, exposing my white gut to the ladies of Johnson County.

6 Comments:

  • At 8:15 AM, Blogger Vigo said…

    Well, perhaps you have a very beautiful white gut.

     
  • At 8:55 AM, Blogger emawkc said…

    Are you trying to turn this blog into a p0rn site?

     
  • At 9:21 AM, Blogger Happy In Bag said…

    Emaw- I dunno, how much will you pay to see my belly button?

     
  • At 10:41 AM, Blogger Pensive Girl said…

    that's funny. totally something that would happen to me. only i'd think they were checking out my legs to learn that i was trailing toilet paper from my shoe or something.

     
  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger Xavier Onassis said…

    A few years back I was standing in front of the Town Pavillion having a smoke break. It was a chilly day, so over my normal corporate work attire, I was wearing a long overcoat, RayBan shades and an "Indiana Jones" Fedora. I was smoking a cigar.

    This woman walked by glancing at me out of the corner of her eye and smiling. When she got up close to me she said "Can I just say you are a VERY handsome man!"

    The hat prevented her from seeing my head swell and the overcoat hid the fact that my Dockers had lost their pleats. Since I was married at the time, I just thanked her politely.

    A few days later, same scenario, same attire. Another woman walks up and says "Can I just tell you something?" I'm thinking, "Here we go again! I'm some kinda Babe-Magnet!!" Head starts swelling, pleats start disappearing.

    She say's "I was driving by the other day with my 6 year old son in the car. He saw you standing out here and he yelled 'LOOK MOM! IT'S INSPECTOR GADGET!!"

    Head stopped swelling, pleats came back with a sound like yacht sails catching the wind.

    Women!

    They build you up...then they tear you down!

     
  • At 8:10 AM, Blogger Lee said…

    Great stories, Bag and X! Isn't it always the way? Just as you're reaching up for the trophy, somebody pulls down your pants.

     

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