Happy In Bag

Thursday, May 18, 2006

First We Take Panera

I’m considering becoming a soccer hooligan.

Yesterday’s Champion’s League Final, one of the world’s biggest sporting events, inspired me. Barcelona beat Arsenal in a nasty game in Paris. (Not that the Star bothered to cover it with more than a one-inch box score.)

A couple things must transpire before I can commit to this new life. First, the United States must make a good showing at this summer’s World Cup. Major League Soccer is still considered to be a second-tier league; I’m not prepared to change the course of my life for the equivalent of the Kansas City T-Bones. Secondly, the Wizards must relocate to a new stadium in Johnson County.

That’s when the insanity begins.

I’ll lead a band of disaffected paunchy men and angry soccer moms on game-day rallies. When those namby-pamby Columbus Crew fans come to town we’ll be ready for them. We’ll take all the donuts from their continental breakfasts at the Hampton Inn! We’ll put Wizards stickers on their rental cars! They’ll beg for mercy.

And Johnson County has never seen the likes of the riots we’ll have after each Wizards game. First, we’ll take Panera- we’ll demand extra onions on our turkey artichoke Panini sandwiches! Then we’ll hit Starbucks, where we’ll force the staff to take off that sissy Norah Jones music. That’s right- we Wizards fans love to crank up Sheryl Crow.

Are you with me? Heck yeah!


  • At 11:39 AM, Blogger "The D" said…


  • At 1:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I ain't down with no Sheryl Crow. Norah Jones neitha. Hell to the no.

  • At 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You opted for the full caff again instead of your regular half-caff this morning, didn't you?

  • At 2:39 PM, Blogger Happy In Bag said…

    Panos- Just for you, we'll go hardcore! How about John Mayer! That'll rock!

    "The D" gets it!!!

    Yurodivy- I'm on my second pot!

    Go, Olathe Wizards, Go!

  • At 4:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I said kinda the same thing, just not so succinct - it took me three posts on Wednesday - one about the final, one about moving to JoCo, and a third about why I don't go

    I must write less.

  • At 9:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    About the world cup: are there watch parties being organized in KC for the USA's games? I went to one four years ago out at Arrowhead when we lost to Germany; it was awesome.

  • At 2:10 PM, Blogger Roldy said…

    Essential reading:


    Essential viewing:



    And say a prayer for the boy's metatarsal: ROOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEYYYYY. Amen

  • At 10:49 AM, Blogger Happy In Bag said…

    I am especially geeked for the World Cup now that I've watched Roldy's highlight reels. I hadn't seen the old Pele stuff. Rocky, let's both be on the lookout for watch party news.

  • At 12:28 PM, Blogger Roldy said…

    I am also getting concerned about finding a congenial atmosphere to watch the England games out here. (Plus just about any other games.)

    By congenial I mean: in the same room as a number of people who have a passion for football and do not mind my passion for a tipple or two to smooth the pain of when England go out on penalties (yet again).

  • At 6:28 PM, Blogger Bruno said…

    Stumbled onto this blog and will be checking again, looking for news of said World Cup watch parties. Says a Brazilian who gets depressed when he's not home for the cup.

  • At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy: Here's the 411 on watch parties. I'm totally in.

  • At 12:27 PM, Blogger Happy In Bag said…

    Thanks, Rocky! This looks great. But what about non-USA matches?

  • At 12:41 PM, Blogger Roldy said…

    from a "when in Rome do what the Romans do" perspective that does look good though. I actually think, as usual, the USA team are underrated by the rest of the world.

    That said... obviously if the USA won the world cup (shudder) that would mean the death of football for the rest of the world.

  • At 9:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    This is a TV schedule for all the games. Folks could set up their own watch parties based on the schedule.

  • At 1:20 PM, Blogger Happy In Bag said…

    You may have seen the listing of "where to watch" in today's Star. It states, "these places are planning on showing the games": O'Dowds on the Plaza and O'Dowds at La Zona Rosa, and the 810 Zone on 119th." It might be fun to catch a European match at O'Dowds (I can't endorse 810 Zone). Roldy, is it acceptable to watch an English match at an Irish pub? The Star also has a list of places that "will put the game on by request." That's not too promising, is it? The U.S. watch parties at the sports complex are looking better all the time. Sorry, Bruno, I don't have any good solutions for you.

  • At 2:04 PM, Blogger Roldy said…

    Happy In Bag. I have posted an answer to your question and given my ill considered but enthusiastic thoughts on team USA's performance over at lightandbitter.blogspot.com. Tell all your friends who like soccer as comment is enjoyed, and I need help to keep with world cup fever....

  • At 8:31 AM, Blogger Roldy said…

    www.cupinis.com on Westport Road are showing games. Perfect for some lunchtime soccer.

    Brazil games and Italian games will raise the temperature of the staff most and see some atmosphere I think! Or at least you will be able to see some people shouting "Vaffanculo!" when the ref cheats the Italians out of yet another world cup.


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