Not a Happy Camper

I appreciate indoor plumbing. I detest s'mores. Even though I'm not much of a camper, I spent Saturday night outdoors shivering in a sleeping bag. Here's a short list of what I learned on my weekend expedition: The distant barking of farmers' hounds is far more annoying than the occasional yapping of neighbors' dogs. Conversely, owls and coyotes make cool sounds. Hippies drumming at a nearby site do not. And deer sound exactly like zombies as they tromp through the woods.